In Acceptance Lieth Peace

In the past couple of days I've been thinking about change. Well, more the past week or so. I spent last week in Germany with my old roommate and now she is here in Ankara visiting me. When I arrived in Basel (the first airport I've ever been to where I had to choose what door I went out by the country I was going to - France and Germany or Switzerland) it had been almost two years since I had seen her. Lots of good conversations about the new, about the old, about everything in between. Yesterday morning I started to get sad, knowing that our time together was drawing slowly to a close. And then tucked away I found a poem by Amy Charmichael given to me by a friend a while back - In Acceptance Lieth Peace.

He said, "I will forget the dying faces;
The empty places,
They shall be filled again.
O voices moaning deep within me, cease."
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, "I will crowd action upon action
The strife of faction
Shall stir me and sustain;
O tears that drown the fire of Manhood cease."
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in endeavor lieth peace.

He said, "I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life's riot?
Shut my door to pain.
Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease."
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, "I will submit;
I am defeated.
God hath depleated
My life of its rich gain.
O futile murmuring, why will ye not cease?"
But vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, "I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God to-morrow
Will to His son explain."
Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word, not vain.
For in Acceptance lieth peace.

I rejoice for this time we have had together to share good words, laughter, walks, coffee, Asian food, German food, Turkish food. And truly I am thankful for the reality that this one, my dear friend, I will not have to say a permanent good-bye to. I am thankful for these ones here in my adopted country who have welcomed me home. And I am thankful for all that lies ahead of me in the weeks to come. Truly, in acceptance lieth peace.

dost kara günde belli olur

Recently I was listening to a recording from a lesson I had a while back. Typically I listen for words, for grammar, for phrases and terminology. Today I stepped back and just listened. (Wow, to be able to do that!) I realized that this place has much to teach me about friendship.
For so many years I've treated most of my relationships as, well, an excuse to drink coffee or go for a hike. We go out, we have a good time and that's pretty much where it ends. We go back to our separate lives and back to our separate problems.
In the recording, my language helper was explaining the proverb "dost kara günde belli olur". You have a friend, or you think you have a friend. You do things together. You eat together. You have fun together. You send text messages back and forth on a daily basis. And then the dark or kara day comes. Your sick. You need money. Whatever it might be. You call your friend. You ask for help. The response? I have work... The answer given when you just don't want to do something (or, sometimes when you really do have work). So now I know. Is this a dost (a best friend), a friend, not even a friend? Not a friend.
Over the past year friends have come to my rescue. They have helped me buy new televisions, have gone with me to the bank, they have lent me telephones, they have helped me get my visa extension, they have laughed with me, cried with me, exhorted and admonished me. What have I done? May I love my sister..."Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God for God is love" (1 John 4:7,8).

One Year

This past Wednesday marked my first year of life in Turkey. I can't say that I now know exactly how to live and behave in any and every circumstance. Here I continue to be in some respects a foreigner. Lord willing, it will become less and less apparent with each passing day.
A year ago Wednesday I stepped off the plane and found that the airport had changed! I wasn't entirely sure I was actually in Ankara. I also found that I could understand a bit of the language that flew at me from various directions. Other things around town had changed. When I left five years before (now six years have passed!) the city boasted a couple malls. Now there seem to be malls popping up everywhere. Ankara indeed boasts one of Turkey's largest malls. People had also changed, or had I changed? Maybe it was that I really hadn't in a three month internship been able to dig deeply into culture and people as I had wanted.
Wednesday I went to class, only to find that my class really was canceled. No teacher...apparently. Returned home, went to the market, returned home again. Friends coming for dinner, celebratory lunch with friends. Needed to make borek for a friend who would be at dinner. Needed to make dinner. Needed to study. Work out? That should go somewhere into the schedule. Oh, and the phone doesn't work, but why not? The internet works. So basically, Wednesday was a normal day. Lunch was fabulous (salad!!), dinner was fabulous (especially one friend's animal noise impressions - I still laugh out loud when I think of it), no one drew blood in our crazy game of spoons, and my neighbor loves my borek. Oh, and the phone magically started working yesterday when I went down to the Turktelecom office to complain. Who knows what really happened. So life does go on one year later. The difference now is that I am more and more at home here, more and more seeking to rest in the Lord, and I can, by the grace of the Lord, understand more that a few words that fly at me. I can even make borek and cake that my neighbors and friends like.