Lessons on Trust

Lately in my lessons I've been talking and learning about trust. It really is an interesting topic here. This country is known to be full of those who do not trust one another. As I ask my friends what trust means, their response typically includes something to the affect of, "If I believe that you won't think bad thoughts about me or harm me, that means I trust you." This has caused me to wonder, what do I think about trust? What do I believe? Truly, learning Turkish may be good for my own thoughts and theology, if not protect my brain from getting flabby.
So in today's lesson I decided to work on explaining what I believe about trust. Oh, goodness. Unbeknown to me, my language helper, who happens to be a believer, had recently gone through an experience with another believer that left her feeling belittled and hurt. When the other believer approached her to ask for her forgiveness, her response was that forgiveness was not something she could think about at the moment.
As I described my own thoughts about trust, I noticed that she was slightly teary. With no idea in my mind as to what may or may not have occurred, I continued on with my explanation. I told her that I can't honestly agree with the idea that if I trust someone I can't expect them to ever think negative thoughts about me or cause me harm. I can, however, extend grace because ultimately my God is trustworthy. He will not allow something into my life that will not be for my own good.
After our lesson she related to me the entire experience. She said that the Lord had used what I had said to touch her heart. I truly believe that she has been encouraged to forgive, to extend grace, and truly to overlook.
Only a few hours later I was at a good friend's house. She was relating to me and her roommate how hurt she had been last week by another friend. She was transferred from her first division basketball team in another city back to a second division basketball team here in Ankara last week. The other friend has not called to see if she needs anything, has not welcomed her back to town, in short has said nothing to her. Trust so easily lost.
Pray with me that I would be a trustworthy friend. Pray that I would be able to share fully the trustworthiness of One who will never fail.

Some things never change

Me in front of the Municipal Ladies Center (thanks for the photo op, Amy!)

This morning at the gym one of the ladies commented on how empty it was. Or was it me that commented? I actually can't remember. Regardless, when we started our session it was empty. Me and two other ladies with all the machines to ourselves! By the time the session had ended four or so more ladies had joined. That is to be compared with the mornings when the treadmills, bikes and weights are almost continually in use.
In response to this comment, the instructor commented that between now and the end of December attendance will continue to decline. After the first of the year it will increase tremendously and around April will start to decrease again. Then over the some it will continue to decrease. Sometime in the fall it will pick up again. In November it will decrease and there you have it. A year in the life of an instructor a the municipal ladies gym. So truly, somethings never change. New Years resolutions, summer break, fall pick up and slow down. And life goes on.

A Holiday for Thankfulness

I'm sitting here this morning looking out my friend's window in Kapadokia. They claim that this is the cold corner. Every once in a while my Alaska blog kicks in, I guess. No coldness here. Or maybe its the coffee. Hmm... Yes, for those of you who wonder what I ponder on first thing in the morning, now you know. And it's not all that exciting, is it.
Today is Thanksgiving in the States. Here in Turkey it's Thursday. That's it. Kids will go to school this morning, people will head off to work, stores will open as usual. In Ankara last week I went to Starbucks and saw all the Christmas decorations and cups out. No Thanksgiving in Turkey. But here in this small corner of Kapadokia (think 1 Peter 1 - it's on the list) we are getting ready for a grand feast. We're borrowing an oven from a friend to cook the second of two turkeys. It helps that said friend is in America at the moment and will not be needing her oven between today and Saturday. We're having turkeys (if they don't show up at the butcher, we'll be having chicken), mashed potatoes, PECAN PIE, pumpkin pie, the works really. And we will watch the Lions lose to New England. And we will be thankful.
As I've described this holiday to friends I've wanted to point out that we are not only thankful once a year. So what makes this day special, besides the PECAN PIE? (You may have guessed that we do not actually have pecans here. Someone brought them in from outside and is sharing a PECAN PIE with us tomorrow. I'm a little excited. If anyone knows how to grow pecan trees on a small balcony in the middle of a city, please pass on your sage advice.) We have a time to look back, to reflect, to see remember what God has done in the past, what He is doing now, and what He has promised that He will do and to give Him thanks! If there is anything I am learning from reading through Exodus, it is that we are forgetful people. If we do not choose to remember, we quickly forget and we lie to ourselves in order to convince ourselves that it is okay to sin.
So today, I want to choose to remember. I want to take my choice to remember into my everyday and share this with my friends. In fact, I think I've given up on New Year's resolutions. Instead, between now and next Thanksgiving I want grow in thankfulness so much that in the complaining world I live in I might stand out like a bright star in the universe.
Now to prepare for PECAN PIE!

School Time Again

A Private School in Ankara - claimed to have a high rate of students getting high scores on the university entrance exam.



School here has been in session for a while now. Of course, school in America has been in session for even longer. The past two years the start of school has been delayed by the three day holiday following Ramazan. Maybe next year school will start at its normal time and I'll find out when the normal time actually is!
Everyday I see students in their uniforms heading from home to school, waiting for the school service (we don't have school buses here - if the school is a long ways away students either are driven by their parents, take a bus, or their family pays for a service vehicle to transport them to and from school), or possibly even playing hooky. In the evenings students often head from school to their after school school. No, that was not a typo. After school many students head straight back to school where they sit through classes to help them score high points on...The Test. Oh yes, The Test. We have a test for everything. The Test in one form or another determines where you will go to high school, where you will go to university, what subject you will study in university and whether or not you will be able to work for the government. "Everything wants a test," my friends are often heard to be said.
To ensure that their children succeed on The Test and thus in life, parents will sometimes send them to private schools where the normal day school and the night school are combined into one package.
Kids are still kids. They play football on the street, they wander around downtown together, they laugh on the bus. But they feel the pressure. They know that their lives are determined by The Test. Part of this is fed by the fatalism and the works mentality of the local belief system. Oh the joy we can have, knowing that we do not need to pass a test, that one has already gone before us and passed the most important test on our behalf!

Sağlıklı Olsun

Recently I've had the chance to learn what it's like to be ill in a country that values health, possibly higher than my home country views health. Sağlıklı olsun - may it be healthy. I've heard this statement time and time again when asking friends about babies and children. It'll all be fine so long as everyone is healthy. Earlier today I think my neighbor told me sağlıklı kal - stay healthy. A very interesting comment as I was calling her to tell her about the results of some recent labs that came out not exactly healthy!
This same neighbor worries about my health probably more than my parents do. When I first started having symptoms of an old disease, she wanted to know why I was going to the hospital, what tests I was getting done, if I was happy with my doctor, etc. I explained to her briefly that I didn't want to be on a certain pill any longer because my mom had cancer and this pill increases the risk of cancer. Her response was to tell me that she didn't like all this negative talk coming out of my mouth. In her mind, and in many of the minds surrounding me, if you talk about ill health in this way you're tempting fate. If you just think positively...
It all comes down to one thing. My neighbor (and almost every other person around me) has no real hope in the life to come. This particular neighbor happens to believe that there is no afterlife. The rest of my friends believe in an after-life, but they have no assurance as to whether or not theirs will be pleasant or torturous. So health at all costs. I'm back to square one again - bad test results and not a whole lot of answers but a whole lot of possible labs in my near future (for those who are wondering, I'm not dying but my endocrine system is once again not functioning properly). The difference between my neighbor and I is simple. My hope is not in my health, but truly in the life to come and in the One Who has promised me this life. So next week when my neighbor comes back to town I want to try again to explain why I'm not afraid of being ill. All prayers welcome.

From My Balcony

To Fast or Not to Fast...in this case there is no question

Thursday marked the end 30 days of fasting and the beginning of a three day celebration. People fast from the first morning call to prayer to the evening call to prayer. Right as the evening call to prayer is heard they are once again allowed to drink and eat. Several times during the fast I had a chance to break the fast (I was not fasting!) with friends of mine.
Last year at iftar, the meal to break the fast, everything was new and interesting to me. I had truly in my life never seen quite such an event. This year things were so different. I'm not sure if I can chalk it up to a better understanding of what people are saying, to the ability to have slightly deeper relationships with friends, a combination of both or something entirely different, but it was not so much interesting as a saddening display of works righteousness in my friends' lives.
Now the party is on! Friday I went over to visit friends in another part of town. Typical holiday visits are about a half hour, but this is not a house where I can stay a half hour. This is partially due to it's location, being a bit of a journey from my house and partially due to the fact that they now tell everyone that I'm like their daughter and I've been on vacation with them. So instead of a half hour I was there from the afternoon until late last night. Visitors came and went. We talked, stayed, goofed off and even went over to the grandparents' house to pick up the laundry. One visitor asked me if I wanted to become a Mslm. In her words I would there find freedom and peace. The grandfather asked me if I had fasted this year. I said I had not and he insisted that I should fast next year because it's "sağlam" or healthy, lasting, long-wearing and possibly (at least in my understanding) strong or strength giving. We often refer to buildings as "sağlam" if they are well-built and probably able to withstand an earthquake. I said thanks, but I would not. So he insisted. My friend was waiting for us in the car outside, we had not planned on staying. We said our goodbyes and headed out. I still do not intend to fast next year.
I have peace, I have freedom and I do not need the type of strength that keeping this fast will bring. But it is not my job to "convince" or "argue" with them. Indeed, I am reminded once more of the truth that their eyes must be opened. I must speak, but the Spirit must work.