By Your Tears...

Recently I had the opportunity to go see Ravi Zacharias speak. Following his presentation (which, after hearing it translated into Turkish, I've decided that I will go into professional translating ONLY after living here for 25 years and even then, we'll see) there was a time for questions. Several people asked very interesting, very good questions. Some of those asking questions were believers, others clearly were not believers.

One question in particular sticks out in my mind. The very last question was asked by a believer. She said that one of the biggest problems we face here as believers is our family. Our families say, "choose us or choose your faith, you cannot have both." She said that sometimes believers were beaten or kicked out of their home. Would it be better for us to keep our faith a secret? I'm not sure if she knew, but the individual to whom the question was asked had been there before.

My initial response to such a question, admittedly and unfortunately, is not very merciful. I want to say, "We are promised to have difficult times, so get out there and proclaim what is most important!" He never said that. He also did not deny that we are to be open about what we believe. He shared out of his own experience. He said that he would often leave books and tapes around the house and he knew they would be listened to. He told of a father who was quite mean in his discipline, but who, after coming to saving faith completely changed. The change was so complete that in a lineup of pictures from his life, his friends and family could tell when he had become a believer. Ravi did say that one way or another our light must shine forth. "By your tears..." he understood the heart of the person to whom he was speaking.

This is one side of the picture here. In my studies I listened to words of another believer who had been kicked out by her family. She told of how He had provided for her, both through work and through housing. Next time I see her I want to ask whether or not her relationship with her family has been at all mended. She continues to walk in faith.

This may not happen everyday to every believer. It happens often enough to know that there are even those who are reticent to come because of their families reaction. Do not ask only that they would have courage. Ask also that I would have an understanding and merciful heart. I have not been in their shoes. I can direct them to One who has. But I want to do so with compassion and grace.

On Hiking and Uniformity

A week ago a friend and I joined a hiking group for a Sunday stroll in the mountains. Okay, not so much a stroll. Definitely a hike. Actually, had the snow been a little less tricky and slow going in spots, we could have called it a climb.

For a while now, I've been wanting to both get out and be in the great outdoors that I've grown up loving and to find those locals who enjoy the same types of pursuits. It became very clear that this type of activity is primarily done through an association and an association is found by asking those you know. So off to my acquaintances I went and I began to ask for information. All of their answers led me back to one group, who's office happens to be a 10 minute walk from my house. Then, when one of my co-workers who will shortly be moving to another city joined the group for a hike, I decided to follow suit. But before I committed, I asked a good friend to join me - one who happens to be a girl. The last thing I wanted to do is to show up and be the only girl!

Last Sunday at 7 am we headed out my door with all our gear and walked up the hill to the association office. There we were met by folks who, by all outward appearances, had done this sort of thing before. And, as I am finding to be true in this country, they were a community of sorts that all knew each other. We picked more people up as we headed out of town in our hired bus and were off to the mountains.

I looked around me. Everyone was dressed in more or less the same brand of clothing, more or less everyone was wearing red and black, and everyone was basically of the same socio-economic status. We had our tea, we had our rolls, and we had our conversation.

We stopped on the way at their usual bakery to buy bread where almost everyone walked out with loaves of bread. Then we stopped at the truck stop where soup and tea would be consumed and gaiters would be put on. Here my friend learned that there is only one way to put on gaiters.

So off to the trail we went. Ah, but wait - no real trail would lead us to where we were going. We were at the mercy of our guide, his GPS, map, and previous hiking in the area. The remainder of the day I watched him climb and teach. Every time we stopped everyone was instructed to drink water. When we hit slopes covered with snow that would require a certain type of step, everyone was not only told how to walk, but shown how to do so. When a decision needed to be made as to whether or not we would attempt the peak or attempt to simply get back to our vehicle, everyone was given all the possibilities and all the reasons for deciding certain things. Here was a guide, a teacher, a shepherd of a flock of hikers with varying levels of experience.

Lunch time came. We found a flat area, stomped down our snow and out came, once more, identical gear and identical menus. The guide (who we called hoca - the word for a teacher - and who called us hoca, i.e. Catherine hoca, Sevda hoca) had everyone put on all their layers, stamp down the snow in a certain way, and continued to instruct on different aspects of winter climbing.

Hours later, right about sunset, we made it back to the vehicle. Here the hoca led everyone in stretching and then back to the vehicle. Down the road we went to the truck stop for the same bowl of soup, the same pickles and onions and the same tea. Rested, hydrated, happy and tired it was back to the vehicle and back to town where we all went to our various, non-identical houses, jobs, friends and families.

Slowly, slowly, slowly I am learning more about the community aspect of this culture. Community and doing/liking the same things as my friend seem to be the order of the day. With me Ask that whole communities will decide together to follow the Truth. And as we Ask this question for Turkey, lets Ask something for ourselves - do we live in community with one another? I don't believe we are taught that community and uniformity are the same, but there is something to be learned here from this culture that so values community.

Hey Litle Girl

This song seems to fit well with the people I walk amongst day and and day out. Love enough to cover shame...

Skiing

Yesterday I went up to Ilgaz with friends for a day of skiing. Ilgaz is small - a big lift and a few...um...Dad? What was it that you used when you learned to ski back in the 60s? Yup, those. Unfortunately they weren't running, so it was up the lift and down the run, up the lift and down the run, up the lift and down the run, up the lift and down the run. No, I did not actually count the number of times I went up the lift and down the run.
I did learn that skiing here is a different type of adventure than what I grew up with. To start with, I met everyone just before 7 am at the skating rink in town. We boarded a rented small van (larger and more comfortable than a 12 passenger van but smaller than a short bus) and off we went towards Kastamonu. And on said bus, I expirienced my first "bus çay." We have building çay, evening çay, çay during lessons, etc. Now I can say that I have had bus çay down to making sure there were sweet things and savory things to eat.
We got up to the mountain at about 10:30. The lifts had been running for about an hour and a half, but that did not mean crowds running over and 20 minute waits at the base lift. It did take us quite a while to figure out exactly what we were doing with rentals, where to stash our stuff, etc. By 12 I was skiing. A little late, but it was the first lift up and run down. I raced my friend and won! From there on out it was ski, ski, ski until I decided to try and show another friend how to ski. Ever try to teach someone how to do something in your second language that you have almost no vocabulary for? Lets just say, she did get a couple turns in, she made it down the mountain and we're still friends.
Here there is a group mentality. We do things with the group. Yesterday I did ski on my own quite a bit, but I ate with the group, rode with the group, rented with the group, laughed with the group. It wasn't too much different that when I was in college running up to Bridger or Big Sky. Then we were all about the group, too.
Here I saw too types of skiers. There was a ski race going on the same time we were there. I saw the serious skiers from Mid-East Tech and Ankara University. I saw those who had never put on skis before and were trying for the first time. So really, how different was it from what I was used to? It was everything we had when I was growing up, only compact into one run.
So what was different? My own thoughts. Part of me wanted to ski the whole day. Lets leave at 4 am just so we can be up there by 8:30 in time to rent gear and catch the first lift up. Stop for lunch? That's what Clif Bars are for. But there really is something to the outside grill, friends' laughing, and then being able to share stories later.
And I think before I give another ski lesson in Turkish I might want to take one from someone who speaks Turkish. Vocabulary is not overrated.

Lessons on Trust

Lately in my lessons I've been talking and learning about trust. It really is an interesting topic here. This country is known to be full of those who do not trust one another. As I ask my friends what trust means, their response typically includes something to the affect of, "If I believe that you won't think bad thoughts about me or harm me, that means I trust you." This has caused me to wonder, what do I think about trust? What do I believe? Truly, learning Turkish may be good for my own thoughts and theology, if not protect my brain from getting flabby.
So in today's lesson I decided to work on explaining what I believe about trust. Oh, goodness. Unbeknown to me, my language helper, who happens to be a believer, had recently gone through an experience with another believer that left her feeling belittled and hurt. When the other believer approached her to ask for her forgiveness, her response was that forgiveness was not something she could think about at the moment.
As I described my own thoughts about trust, I noticed that she was slightly teary. With no idea in my mind as to what may or may not have occurred, I continued on with my explanation. I told her that I can't honestly agree with the idea that if I trust someone I can't expect them to ever think negative thoughts about me or cause me harm. I can, however, extend grace because ultimately my God is trustworthy. He will not allow something into my life that will not be for my own good.
After our lesson she related to me the entire experience. She said that the Lord had used what I had said to touch her heart. I truly believe that she has been encouraged to forgive, to extend grace, and truly to overlook.
Only a few hours later I was at a good friend's house. She was relating to me and her roommate how hurt she had been last week by another friend. She was transferred from her first division basketball team in another city back to a second division basketball team here in Ankara last week. The other friend has not called to see if she needs anything, has not welcomed her back to town, in short has said nothing to her. Trust so easily lost.
Pray with me that I would be a trustworthy friend. Pray that I would be able to share fully the trustworthiness of One who will never fail.

Some things never change

Me in front of the Municipal Ladies Center (thanks for the photo op, Amy!)

This morning at the gym one of the ladies commented on how empty it was. Or was it me that commented? I actually can't remember. Regardless, when we started our session it was empty. Me and two other ladies with all the machines to ourselves! By the time the session had ended four or so more ladies had joined. That is to be compared with the mornings when the treadmills, bikes and weights are almost continually in use.
In response to this comment, the instructor commented that between now and the end of December attendance will continue to decline. After the first of the year it will increase tremendously and around April will start to decrease again. Then over the some it will continue to decrease. Sometime in the fall it will pick up again. In November it will decrease and there you have it. A year in the life of an instructor a the municipal ladies gym. So truly, somethings never change. New Years resolutions, summer break, fall pick up and slow down. And life goes on.

A Holiday for Thankfulness

I'm sitting here this morning looking out my friend's window in Kapadokia. They claim that this is the cold corner. Every once in a while my Alaska blog kicks in, I guess. No coldness here. Or maybe its the coffee. Hmm... Yes, for those of you who wonder what I ponder on first thing in the morning, now you know. And it's not all that exciting, is it.
Today is Thanksgiving in the States. Here in Turkey it's Thursday. That's it. Kids will go to school this morning, people will head off to work, stores will open as usual. In Ankara last week I went to Starbucks and saw all the Christmas decorations and cups out. No Thanksgiving in Turkey. But here in this small corner of Kapadokia (think 1 Peter 1 - it's on the list) we are getting ready for a grand feast. We're borrowing an oven from a friend to cook the second of two turkeys. It helps that said friend is in America at the moment and will not be needing her oven between today and Saturday. We're having turkeys (if they don't show up at the butcher, we'll be having chicken), mashed potatoes, PECAN PIE, pumpkin pie, the works really. And we will watch the Lions lose to New England. And we will be thankful.
As I've described this holiday to friends I've wanted to point out that we are not only thankful once a year. So what makes this day special, besides the PECAN PIE? (You may have guessed that we do not actually have pecans here. Someone brought them in from outside and is sharing a PECAN PIE with us tomorrow. I'm a little excited. If anyone knows how to grow pecan trees on a small balcony in the middle of a city, please pass on your sage advice.) We have a time to look back, to reflect, to see remember what God has done in the past, what He is doing now, and what He has promised that He will do and to give Him thanks! If there is anything I am learning from reading through Exodus, it is that we are forgetful people. If we do not choose to remember, we quickly forget and we lie to ourselves in order to convince ourselves that it is okay to sin.
So today, I want to choose to remember. I want to take my choice to remember into my everyday and share this with my friends. In fact, I think I've given up on New Year's resolutions. Instead, between now and next Thanksgiving I want grow in thankfulness so much that in the complaining world I live in I might stand out like a bright star in the universe.
Now to prepare for PECAN PIE!